To Mom, Dad, Jill and Craig,

As a baby you are dependent on your parents, it's expected that they know how to take care of you, what's best for you. As a toddler, your parents are your support, your fun-suckers. They tell you no to everything but are there when your hurt. As a kid, you are constantly testing the patience of your parents, you like to give them heart attacks, steal the cookies they told you that you couldn't have, and run to them when you know something is wrong. As a teenager, you defy everything your parents tell you, you question every decision they make, you do the exact opposite from what they tell you to do, you shut them out when something is wrong or you need help, you take everything they give you for granted and you seldom tell them how much you lovee them. Eventually, you realize that your relationship with them is precious, priceless even, you know that they really DO know what's best for you, and even though some times you don't understand everything they do, you truly love them. I definitely can't say that I have been above any of these things, I can't say I haven't raised hell at points in my life for them to deal with and sort through, but I can say that I love them. Whether they're my parents by blood or marriage, and I am thankful for all of them, the things they do, and the way they have taught me to be who I am today. Thanks so much for knowing all my faults and loving me anyways! <3

Sometimes. Part of growing up is realizing that some people aren't worth the effort. Aren't worth the hurt and abuse and the constant trying and crying. Some people won't ever open their eyes and see the way their actions actually take a toll on you. They won't ever notice, they'll never understand and when they do. No, if they do. Won't it be too late? You know. I grew up in a church. Grew up hearing about God's love and his grace, and His forgiveness for us. How we must forgive others for the things they do and say to us. In this, I don't think God necessarily means we need to forgive them and continuously put our hearts on our sleeves and walk right back into the battle. That would be a foolish move to walk into a hungry lions den with meat in your pockets expecting them not to strike. Being a Christian you should forgive people for their actions, their misrepresentations, their thoughts and their harmful sayings, but I also think that as a Christian, as God's heavenly child, I think he also gives you the choice whether or not you need to continue to expose yourself to them. I have decided that after much abuse and harmful words, after so much stress and tears, it is MY time to check out of this particular battle. God tells me to love you always, and I will -But this time. This time-I will love you from the distant sidelines. God is our Father, yes. But God does not expect us to put ourselves into harms way. Instead of looking to that person you thought you needed, look to God. God will always be there for us and that is what truly matters.

“But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”” Joshua 24:15 NIV

Simplicity is so complicated. Love is impossible. Commitment even more so. And trying? Completely overrated. Trust? Hard to come by, but you don't seem to care.

You know, people don't ever seem to realize that what they have IS worth holding onto. They don't seem to realize that the trust they have within someone, is- indeed a miracle. A new beginning, a new hope. Why do they have no problem misusing, and misplacing that trust? They act like it's easy to come by. Easy to regain. They act, pretend and lie to cover up what they did. Act like it didn't happen. When confronted, they dance around the facts and make it seem like they're the victim in the situation, not the cause. You know what I learned and continue learning from situations like these? Nothing, NOTHING, is worth your tears, or your trust and frustration, or even your time except Jesus. Only God can take your trust, and your feelings and heart and use it to help us -help us to grow closer to Him. Only God can make it worth our effort. So next time when you're in a situation where someone in this world-life lets you down, don't let it get to you. God is the only thing that we should hold that close to our hearts. He won't abandon us and one day, one day if we hold out and let Him make the decisions in our life (-the decisions that make us who we are in Him, ) God will bring us to the perfect person that was made for us. The person made to help us glorify HIM!

Matthew:18:15 "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault when the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother." A good friend showed me this verse tonight. Thanks!

Blogging. I'm so ridiculously horrible at blogging. I can't keep up with it... Life. Life keeps changing. For the better? For the worst? Who even knows anymore. School. School is overrated. Seriously. Can it just end? Work. Work is consuming and life-sucking. Four jobs. Rough. 1. McDonald's 2. Bounce-it-out. 3. AC Moore 4. Mystic Entertainment. Love. Non-existent. I swear this is true. Well. Non-existent in this country. Canada. Way too far away. My future? Vacation. Where to you ask? Arizona. In the next year? Air force if all goes well. And the rest? Fill in the blanks..

A new year and a new look! Hello everybody :) I apologize that it has been awhile since my last post, for the last few months I have been keeping myself busy with so many different activities! Back in September I applied for a job at Bounce-it-out and got the job! Since then, I've spent most of my free time working there as a party host, with occasional help in concessions, party table/party check-in and refereeing the play floor. From September-December I participated in "Jingle Jazzy Christmas," a Christmas musical at Victory Baptist Church. In the months since then, I have continued Irish Dance, picked up an aerobics class and drama team, as well as softball and Awana (children's church program,) on top of school Monday-Friday! In these few short months, I have also accumulated 2 concussions, retainers, glasses, an iPod touch, a baby brother, a car and a newly remodeled room. Life is busy, but my life has been extremely blessed and wonderful thanks to Jesus Christ! Currently, I have been spending my free time filling out and handing in applications in hopes of getting a second job this summer, if anybody hears of any place hiring or has any work available (i.e. babysitting, lawn care, etc.), be sure to send me an e-mail at holliannex33@gmail.com :) Thanks for reading everybody! Another post will be in the nearest future, (seriously though! Not a few months!).

Sweet 16 group photo!